Quantity of Relationships

How satisfied are you with the number of relationships you have and the amount of time you socialize with others?

• How many close and/or dependable relationships do you have with people within one hour’s drive from your home? Consider relationships with:
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Neighbors
  • Coworkers
  • Others
• Do you spend time with someone who does not live with you?
• Do you talk to friends or relatives on the phone, via email, or text message?
• Do you go to meetings, social clubs, or other groups?
• Do you belong to online social networking sites or support groups for people with similar life situations?

Quality of Relationships

How satisfied are you in your relationships with family and friends? In the majority of these relationships, do you feel that you are:

• Understood
• Loved, or at least appreciated
• Heard
• Informed
• Useful
• Able to talk about your deepest problems (with at least some of them)
• That you have a definite role or place
• Able to be yourself

Work on Your Social Skills

Almost everyone can benefit from some type of social skills training. Consider classes, therapy, and books that can help you:

• Overcome social fears or phobias
• Become more assertive
• Develop higher self-esteem
• Initiate and sustain conversations
• Deepen relationships through self-disclosure and empathy

Get Involved in Groups, Clubs, and Classes

Getting involved in activities in your community is a great way to meet people. Here are some ideas:

• Local night schools, colleges, and universities may offer a variety of enrichment classes (for example, acting, cake decorating, rock climbing, writing). You can learn a new skill, make new friends, and share your interests with others.
• Join a church or spiritual group. These can be great places to meet others. Many people also find that they feel less lonely and more connected when they develop their spiritual interests.
• Actively participate in a group. Speak up, take a key position, or volunteer to head up special events.

Get to Know Your Neighbors and Your Local Community

The following are some ideas to help you get to know people in your neighborhood and community.

• Go for walks in your neighborhood. Say hello to neighbors and introduce yourself.
• Shop regularly at neighborhood stores and shops.
• Become a “regular” at a local park, beach, coffeehouse, museum, or sporting event.
• Consider hosting a block party. Send invitations to your neighbors.
• Start a community improvement project or run for office.
• Join a local health club or sports team.

Take Some Risks

By risking a little, you can gain a lot. Here are some tips to help you:

• Talk to other people first and don’t let fear of rejection stop you. Look for something to start a conversation. Let your personality show.
• Don’t be afraid to respond to strangers who initiate conversation, as long as they don’t seem overly aggressive or dangerous.
• Your friends don’t have to be just like you. Consider friends of both sexes. Open yourself up to people from various age groups and cultures.

Join or Start a Support Group

Support groups are for people who share a common problem. Most communities have support groups concerning issues such as divorce, bereavement, single parenting, alcoholism, cancer, caregiving, etc. Consider forming your own group. You can find resources at your local library or online.

Volunteer

Volunteers are needed almost everywhere—hospitals, nursing homes, charities, churches, and so on. Contribute your talents to a cause that makes you happy. Create your own opportunity.

Get a Roommate or Two

A compatible roommate can ease some of the loneliness, as well as share some expenses. Interview potential roommates carefully. If you’re looking for a place to live, pay attention to signs of friendly housing.

Maintain Relationships

Once relationships develop, they must be maintained—something that takes time and effort. Here are some tips:

• Keep in touch on a regular basis (call, write, or get together).
• Work together on a project or hobby.
• Remember that different people are comfortable with different levels of intimacy. Gauge the level of intimacy that works for both parties.
• Share feelings, memories, dreams, disappointments, experiences, and humor.
• Listen and allow the other person to share.
• Give the relationship time to grow.
• Keep working on developing the relationship, even if it’s uncomfortable at times.

Get a Pet

Many people find that a pet helps to fulfill their needs for warmth, affection, and companionship.